I studied the sparkling spring water quietly by myself while I drowned in the cacophony of splashing and mindless chatter in the other pool adjacent to where I chose to linger. One of us made a comment on the perfect weather. I heard her saying that there were absolutely no clouds this afternoon, the very contrast of that particular day a few months ago. It didn't take long for you to move beside me, joining me in the shallow waters and staying too close despite the deserted expanse. I hadn't seen you for the last 7 months, and the awkwardness of having to reacquaint myself to your company was more unnerving than I could ever imagine. The words that formed in your mouth were light, almost cautious and controlled as if you were sharing a secret that no one else should know. I stared at the swaying branches above our heads as you mentioned about her and the advice that you took from me, that one about speaking to ex-girlfriends again and making peace at last. Absentmindedly, I nodded at the account, more aware of the seeping sun rays through the green leaves than of where the talk was heading to. The soft light bounced on the water and created a luminous effect in that area as if it hadn't been bright enough already. Maybe you realized that I hadn't been myself today, mind afloat elsewhere and gaze fixed somewhere, on something unseen. But then this usually happened when I couldn't place my feelings, didn't know how else to react in your presence. It's quite unfair how you always knew how things would go, how my mind worked, what I'd say next, what I'd do when you surprised me with a tight embrace with everybody watching while telling me that you'd like to see me again in a few days before running off. You knew I wouldn't be able to move from that spot as I watched you leave.
December 17, 2008
the cloudless day.
I studied the sparkling spring water quietly by myself while I drowned in the cacophony of splashing and mindless chatter in the other pool adjacent to where I chose to linger. One of us made a comment on the perfect weather. I heard her saying that there were absolutely no clouds this afternoon, the very contrast of that particular day a few months ago. It didn't take long for you to move beside me, joining me in the shallow waters and staying too close despite the deserted expanse. I hadn't seen you for the last 7 months, and the awkwardness of having to reacquaint myself to your company was more unnerving than I could ever imagine. The words that formed in your mouth were light, almost cautious and controlled as if you were sharing a secret that no one else should know. I stared at the swaying branches above our heads as you mentioned about her and the advice that you took from me, that one about speaking to ex-girlfriends again and making peace at last. Absentmindedly, I nodded at the account, more aware of the seeping sun rays through the green leaves than of where the talk was heading to. The soft light bounced on the water and created a luminous effect in that area as if it hadn't been bright enough already. Maybe you realized that I hadn't been myself today, mind afloat elsewhere and gaze fixed somewhere, on something unseen. But then this usually happened when I couldn't place my feelings, didn't know how else to react in your presence. It's quite unfair how you always knew how things would go, how my mind worked, what I'd say next, what I'd do when you surprised me with a tight embrace with everybody watching while telling me that you'd like to see me again in a few days before running off. You knew I wouldn't be able to move from that spot as I watched you leave.
