It had been more than once in the last two months that I was asked why I did not consider majoring in English the first time, or why I had not turned to AB English when I was in my junior year even when I already had the chance. Once or twice, I might have actually thought about it then but never actually cared too much of the future to do anything about my impending demise.
My parents could only suspect that my fondness of closer friends had been one of the main reasons why I stuck in Computer Science for too long, which to them seemed lame if it were really true. The truth was more foolish than their hypothesis: I was too comfortable of where I was despite the failing marks and the disappointments that I was consistently reaping. Eventually, my more determined friends went on to fulfill their ambitions and I was left behind, waking up one day bitter of my own carelessness and the unyielding apathy that impaled me to an ultimate downward spiral. What was worst, I felt anxious and confused to the point that I did not know what I wanted to do with my future. I was ready to quit.
But giving up should never be an option, a friend had said. By then I knew I had to deal with the consequences and to accept the retribution of my actions. People I knew would not stop living their lives just for me to be able to catch up to them, and chances at redemption are few. What happened was an effective wake-up call, and ultimately, after careful evaluation of my life in the past few years, I resolved to finish what I had started in the most diligent way I knew. I learned to appreciate my limitations and to work harder to improve myself. Finally achieving that aspiration after rising from the fall is just going to taste sweeter by the end of the day; my greatest failure have become my best inspiration.
For a while, I wondered what I would have been like if I were somewhere else, not having disappointed my parents and myself in that manner, and not having become aware of what I really wanted to do or what I was meant to become. Would I have been as inspired as I am right now? For now, I am grateful that I am where I should be.
